it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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