You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
