Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
