Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
