I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
