Your favorite bartender is back from prision
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
