it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
