I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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