based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
where am i from again
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
