Kiss
Puke
More tranny stories later!
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
