Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
