I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
