I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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