we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
