There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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