She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
