you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
