If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
