My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize