when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
