call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
