Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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