I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
