things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
