peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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