So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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