At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
