SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Quick, to the slutcave!
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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