If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
