I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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