We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
