Nicole vs. Life
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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