Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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