oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
