I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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