This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize