i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
