Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Why is there bacon in the couch?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
