Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
