Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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