? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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