So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you would pick up someone in the library
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
