I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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