yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
