I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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