I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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