Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize