perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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