omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
