I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
