Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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