Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
