I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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