your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
