I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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