Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
