You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
