remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
