next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize