my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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