East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Can you bring me the toilet please
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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