Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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