Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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