its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
