if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Randomize
