I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
