Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
