Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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