new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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