ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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