I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Randomize
