Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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