i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
