i just had sex bonerless
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He's on the porch naked. Help.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
