I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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