she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
