You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize